Cheatin' Hearts

Last Friday, Johns Edwards became the latest in a long line of politicians to admit to having an extramarital affair. Disappointing. I really admired his focus on poverty and his theme of “Two Americas.” But I guess Rielle Hunter admired even more than that (http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/09/us/politics/09edwards.html?scp=10&sq=John%20Edwards&st=cse). There’s even some question as to whether Edwards fathered Hunter’s baby, who was born in February of this year and who does not have a father listed on the birth certificate. But since another man has claimed to be the father, and Edwards seems eager to take a paternity test, the odds seem low. (Thank goodness for small favors.)

Edwards blamed his own egotism and narcissism for his affair – apparently he got to a point where he thought he was so amazing that he could get away with anything. What else causes people to cheat on their spouses? Dr. Laura Berman has an interesting article on Yahoo Health (http://health.yahoo.com/experts/sexualhealing/18851/why-do-people-cheat/) in which she discusses various reasons, including feeling the need for greater appreciation, revenge for their partner’s (real or imagined) affair, and low self-esteem (“I don’t deserve such a great relationship, so I’ll cheat and it will end before my partner falls out of love with me and ends it”).

Somebody named Ruth Houston, an ‘infidelity expert’ (how do you get that gig?), writes that 70% of men say they had an affair primarily for sexual reasons, whereas only 20% of women say the same (http://hometown.aol.com/cheatingsigns/page87.html.). She claims that the most common reasons men give for cheating are “wanting more sex (the desire for a more active sex life); sexual variety (a desire for different kinds of sex); opportunistic sex (taking advantage of an opportunity to have sex without the fear of getting caught); to satisfy sexual curiosity (about a specific female); a feeling of entitlement (the belief that it’s a man’s prerogative to cheat); the ‘thrill of the chase’; the desire to feel important or special; and sexual addiction.” The most common reasons women list are “lack of emotional intimacy (a desire for a close emotional bond); dissatisfaction with her mate; marital or relationship unhappiness; a desire for male attention; to reaffirm her desirability; to re-experience feelings of romance; a desire to feel ‘special’; boredom; loneliness; and sexual excitement.”

I’ve long had a theory that 25% of the people in this world are having 75% of the sex. These politicians are not doing much to prove me wrong.