Name: The supermarket
What it is: Where you go to stock up on food for the week when you grow tired of (or broke from) eating out
Cost: Just the cost of groceries – which you were going to buy anyway.
The scoop: I just read about a couple who got married a few years after meeting at the supermarket. In fact, there are whole articles written about how to meet people while grocery shopping -- you’ve got to admire people’s ability to multi-task. In his article, “Meet Someone at the Grocery Store” (http://www.getromantic.com/singles/advice/meet_at_grocery_store.html), Scot McKay suggests picking up a tabloid while you’re waiting on line and striking up a conversation; “following” someone you’re attracted to and then accusing them (in a joking way) of stalking you; and shopping in the early evening hours on weeknights or on weekend afternoons to increase your odds.
My dates: My only “luck” (and I use the term loosely) at the supermarket happened so long ago, I can’t even remember what year it was -- it was probably about ten years ago. I was home for a visit with the family and ran out to the supermarket in my hometown to pick up a few things. I was around 26 at the time, and the employee behind the checkout counter looked a few years younger, maybe a college student, with glasses and spiky brown hair. As he rang up my chocolate (I actually can’t remember what I was buying, but I’m sure there was chocolate in there somewhere), he began to make conversation about the weather.
“Raining out?” he asked.
“No, not yet,” I said. “But I brought my umbrella just in case.”
“That’s good.”
We continued this oh-so-scintillating conversation for approximately 60 more seconds. I gave him my cash, he gave me my change, and then out of nowhere, he looked at me and suddenly asked, “Would you be interested in going out with me sometime?”
My jaw dropped. I was wearing a bulky winter coat and sweatpants, had barely combed my hair that morning, and we had just had the most boring conversation ever! Where had THAT come from?
The woman behind me cleared her throat and pushed her cart closer to me. I looked at the guy behind the counter, mumbled, “Um, I’m seeing someone,” grabbed my bag of groceries and ran out. It was flattering, I guess, but I could just picture the fascinating conversation we would’ve had on a date (“So do you use an umbrella when it snows, or only when it rains?”).
After that, every time I came home for a visit and had to go to that supermarket, I chose my checkout line very carefully....
March 28, 2008
March 27, 2008
"For Better Or For Worse" Cartoonist To Divorce
I am so sad to learn that Lynn Johnston, creator of one of my all-time favorite comic strips, “For Better or For Worse” (http://www.fborfw.com), is getting a divorce from her husband of 32 years. :( I must have been living under a rock, because I just learned about this even though it became public knowledge last fall (http://www.modbee.com/life/funstuff/story/100348.html).
Apparently, Johnston’s husband, hereafter known as THE JERK, moved out last April and asked her for a divorce because he fell in love with somebody else. Johnston admitted it was a complete surprise to her. I’ll bet! Who marries someone and raises two kids with them, then abandons them to run off with another woman after 32 years!? THE JERK, that’s who.
I am so disappointed by this. I hope some amazingly wonderful guy who actually deserves Johnston comes along and sweeps her off her feet.
Apparently, Johnston’s husband, hereafter known as THE JERK, moved out last April and asked her for a divorce because he fell in love with somebody else. Johnston admitted it was a complete surprise to her. I’ll bet! Who marries someone and raises two kids with them, then abandons them to run off with another woman after 32 years!? THE JERK, that’s who.
I am so disappointed by this. I hope some amazingly wonderful guy who actually deserves Johnston comes along and sweeps her off her feet.
March 25, 2008
WeekendDating (speed-dating)
Name: Weekend Dating (http://www.weekenddating.com/)
Their blog: http://weekenddating.blogspot.com/
What it is: Speed-dating
Cost: $30 - $40 per event (less if you sign up for an event the same day you register to be on the e-mail list)
Random fact: This is one of the very few speed-dating companies that has events on Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays (hence the name WeekendDating).
The scoop: It’s nice to speed-date on the weekend, knowing you don’t have to get up early the next day!
My dates: This speed-dating company has two important advantages over most of the others: the events take place on weekends, and there are free (and plentiful) appetizers. I like to date on a full stomach. I’ve now done WeekendDating twice. Both times Jay gave each of us a card with a question on it, and we were supposed to find the person of the opposite gender with the same question in order to determine who our first speed-date of the night would be. The first time I did it, one of the guys told me his question was, “It’s the first date – should the man or the woman pay?” When he found the woman with that same card, she said, “Well, what’s your answer?” He said, “I think the man should pay.” She snapped, “Wrong answer!” and walked away. :O
Since Jay, the amiable guy who founded the company, is from Long Island, most of the guys I’ve met have been from Long Island or Queens – not too convenient for me, since I live in Brooklyn without a car. Most of their events take place on Long Island, too, although the ones I’ve attended have been in Manhattan. The first time I went, there was a nice range of guys, but last time the men were mostly blue-collar and didn’t have jobs that required college degrees (there were guys who work for the post office, cable guys, etc.). I hate to think I’m a snob, but it’s never worked out for me with a guy who doesn’t have a college degree. Who knows, maybe some guy will prove me wrong one day, but I’ve just never had enough in common with men who didn’t go to college.
So, I only chose one guy at the last event. He worked for a financial company, was originally from Colombia, and had lived in California for several years before moving to New York City. He seemed nice, interesting, and smart -- plus if I dated him, maybe I could finally become fluent in Spanish! After the event, he, the friend I went with, and another woman all had dinner together, which was fun. When I received my list of matches the next morning, I learned that he had picked me, too. After I didn’t hear from him for a few days, I sent him an e-mail – and I never heard back. WHY DO GUYS DO THAT? Why pay for a night of speed-dating, choose women you’d like to see again, and then never contact them? What a waste!
But during dinner that night, it came out that he’d gotten married seven years ago and was already divorced, so maybe I’m not missing out on too much. I can understand people who get married too young and get divorced in their 20s (who really knows who they are in their 20s?), but this guy was in his 40s. That would make me very nervous.
Their blog: http://weekenddating.blogspot.com/
What it is: Speed-dating
Cost: $30 - $40 per event (less if you sign up for an event the same day you register to be on the e-mail list)
Random fact: This is one of the very few speed-dating companies that has events on Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays (hence the name WeekendDating).
The scoop: It’s nice to speed-date on the weekend, knowing you don’t have to get up early the next day!
My dates: This speed-dating company has two important advantages over most of the others: the events take place on weekends, and there are free (and plentiful) appetizers. I like to date on a full stomach. I’ve now done WeekendDating twice. Both times Jay gave each of us a card with a question on it, and we were supposed to find the person of the opposite gender with the same question in order to determine who our first speed-date of the night would be. The first time I did it, one of the guys told me his question was, “It’s the first date – should the man or the woman pay?” When he found the woman with that same card, she said, “Well, what’s your answer?” He said, “I think the man should pay.” She snapped, “Wrong answer!” and walked away. :O
Since Jay, the amiable guy who founded the company, is from Long Island, most of the guys I’ve met have been from Long Island or Queens – not too convenient for me, since I live in Brooklyn without a car. Most of their events take place on Long Island, too, although the ones I’ve attended have been in Manhattan. The first time I went, there was a nice range of guys, but last time the men were mostly blue-collar and didn’t have jobs that required college degrees (there were guys who work for the post office, cable guys, etc.). I hate to think I’m a snob, but it’s never worked out for me with a guy who doesn’t have a college degree. Who knows, maybe some guy will prove me wrong one day, but I’ve just never had enough in common with men who didn’t go to college.
So, I only chose one guy at the last event. He worked for a financial company, was originally from Colombia, and had lived in California for several years before moving to New York City. He seemed nice, interesting, and smart -- plus if I dated him, maybe I could finally become fluent in Spanish! After the event, he, the friend I went with, and another woman all had dinner together, which was fun. When I received my list of matches the next morning, I learned that he had picked me, too. After I didn’t hear from him for a few days, I sent him an e-mail – and I never heard back. WHY DO GUYS DO THAT? Why pay for a night of speed-dating, choose women you’d like to see again, and then never contact them? What a waste!
But during dinner that night, it came out that he’d gotten married seven years ago and was already divorced, so maybe I’m not missing out on too much. I can understand people who get married too young and get divorced in their 20s (who really knows who they are in their 20s?), but this guy was in his 40s. That would make me very nervous.
March 21, 2008
Fidelity, or Fantasy?
As you may have heard, here in New York State we recently lost our (married) governor, Eliot Spitzer, when he resigned after it was discovered he’d spent up to $80,000 on high-priced prostitutes over the past few years. No sooner had our new governor, David Paterson, taken office when he and his wife held a news conference and admitted that during a rough patch in their marriage, around 1999 to 2001, they had both had affairs. “There were a number of women,” Governor Paterson said, including a state employee, though no one that he directly supervised.
You’ve gotta admire the new governor’s honesty, but all this makes you wonder…is ANYONE out there being monogamous? According to my up-to-the-minute internet research, anywhere from 17% of women and 25% of men (http://www.infidelity-etc.com/index.php/4) to 40% of women and 60% of men ((http://www.dearpeggy.com/affairs.html) have had an extramarital affair at some point. I also remember reading an article a few years ago which stated that in 10% of all U.S. families, the father is not the true biological father of at least one child in the family, due to the woman having an affair and never admitting to her husband that the child is not his. (The woman herself may not always know for sure.) Interestingly, the same article stated that statistic drops to 3% in Utah, because Mormon couples are more likely to be monogamous.
It’s enough to make you wish you were a swan, or some other beautiful animal that mates for life. Oh, except they don’t either, really, according to a March 18 article by Natalie Angier in the New York Times entitled “In Most Species, Faithfulness is a Fantasy (http://www.nytimes.com/2008/03/18/science/18angi.html?ref=science). A lot of animals partner up to cuddle, groom each other, breed, and raise young, but genetic testing shows that “anywhere from 10 to 70 percent will prove to have been sired by somebody other than the resident male.”
Apparently, the only guaranteed-monogamous animal is the Diplozoon paradoxum, which is a worm that makes its home in a fish’s gills (ew). To quote David P. Barash, a professor of psychology at the University of Washington in Seattle, “males and females meet each other as adolescents, and their bodies literally fuse together, whereupon they remain faithful until death. That’s the only species I know of in which there seems to be 100 percent monogamy.”
Geez. I think I’d like my body fused to someone else’s even less than dealing with their affair!
You’ve gotta admire the new governor’s honesty, but all this makes you wonder…is ANYONE out there being monogamous? According to my up-to-the-minute internet research, anywhere from 17% of women and 25% of men (http://www.infidelity-etc.com/index.php/4) to 40% of women and 60% of men ((http://www.dearpeggy.com/affairs.html) have had an extramarital affair at some point. I also remember reading an article a few years ago which stated that in 10% of all U.S. families, the father is not the true biological father of at least one child in the family, due to the woman having an affair and never admitting to her husband that the child is not his. (The woman herself may not always know for sure.) Interestingly, the same article stated that statistic drops to 3% in Utah, because Mormon couples are more likely to be monogamous.
It’s enough to make you wish you were a swan, or some other beautiful animal that mates for life. Oh, except they don’t either, really, according to a March 18 article by Natalie Angier in the New York Times entitled “In Most Species, Faithfulness is a Fantasy (http://www.nytimes.com/2008/03/18/science/18angi.html?ref=science). A lot of animals partner up to cuddle, groom each other, breed, and raise young, but genetic testing shows that “anywhere from 10 to 70 percent will prove to have been sired by somebody other than the resident male.”
Apparently, the only guaranteed-monogamous animal is the Diplozoon paradoxum, which is a worm that makes its home in a fish’s gills (ew). To quote David P. Barash, a professor of psychology at the University of Washington in Seattle, “males and females meet each other as adolescents, and their bodies literally fuse together, whereupon they remain faithful until death. That’s the only species I know of in which there seems to be 100 percent monogamy.”
Geez. I think I’d like my body fused to someone else’s even less than dealing with their affair!
March 19, 2008
No End In Sight
I must take a break from dating stories to tell you I just rented the DVD “No End In Sight,” which was nominated for an Academy Award this year for Best Documentary, and can’t recommend it highly enough. As the documentary’s web site says, it “examines the manner in which the principal errors of U.S. policy – the use of insufficient troop levels, allowing the looting of Baghdad, the purging of professionals from the Iraqi government, and the disbanding of the Iraqi military – largely created the insurgency and chaos that engulf Iraq today.” It’s available on Netflix, at Blockbuster, etc. (http://www.noendinsightmovie.com/)
And it was five years ago today that, despite massive protests by Americans and the majority of the world’s people, the U.S. invaded Iraq. 3,990 members of the American military have since been killed there. 29,395 have been wounded. (http://www.antiwar.com/casualties/)
At least 82,249 to 89,760 Iraqi CIVILIANS have died violently. This is an estimate – the real number is undoubtedly higher. (http://www.iraqbodycount.com)
After September 11th, President Bush “ordered his then top anti-terrorism adviser, Richard Clarke, to look for a link between Iraq and the attacks, despite being told there didn't seem to be one.” (http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2004/03/19/60minutes/main607356.shtml)
The National Commission on Terrorist Attacks upon the United States found no credible evidence of a link between Iraq and al-Qaeda in attacks against the U.S.; IRAQ HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH SEPTEMBER 11th (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/5223932/)
In Afghanistan – where the Taliban regime decimated a beautiful country as they provided support and safe harbor to Osama bin Laden and al-Qaeda, who WERE responsible for September 11th -- 487 American troops have been killed (http://icasualties.org/oef/). Afghanistan doesn’t seem to get as much media coverage as Iraq, but if you’re interested in catching up on how things are going there (one-sentence summary: not so great), the Washington Post recently ran an article (on 2/11/08) by Peter Baker, entitled “Conflicting Assessments of War in Afghanistan” (http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/02/10/AR2008021002437_pf.html). The New York Times also ran a much longer story by Elizabeth Rubin in its magazine section on 2/24/08 called “Battle Company is Out There,” which is definitely worth reading. (http://www.nytimes.com/2008/02/24/magazine/24afghanistan-t.html?ref=magazine)
Lastly, a prayer:
Loving God, Welcome into your arms the victims of violence and terrorism. Comfort their families and all who grieve for them. Help us in our fear and uncertainty, And bless us with the knowledge that we are secure in your love. Strengthen all those who work for peace, And may the peace the world cannot give reign in our hearts.
-Anonymous (source: http://www.beliefnet.com)
Every single person lost has multiple people still grieving for them.
And it was five years ago today that, despite massive protests by Americans and the majority of the world’s people, the U.S. invaded Iraq. 3,990 members of the American military have since been killed there. 29,395 have been wounded. (http://www.antiwar.com/casualties/)
At least 82,249 to 89,760 Iraqi CIVILIANS have died violently. This is an estimate – the real number is undoubtedly higher. (http://www.iraqbodycount.com)
After September 11th, President Bush “ordered his then top anti-terrorism adviser, Richard Clarke, to look for a link between Iraq and the attacks, despite being told there didn't seem to be one.” (http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2004/03/19/60minutes/main607356.shtml)
The National Commission on Terrorist Attacks upon the United States found no credible evidence of a link between Iraq and al-Qaeda in attacks against the U.S.; IRAQ HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH SEPTEMBER 11th (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/5223932/)
In Afghanistan – where the Taliban regime decimated a beautiful country as they provided support and safe harbor to Osama bin Laden and al-Qaeda, who WERE responsible for September 11th -- 487 American troops have been killed (http://icasualties.org/oef/). Afghanistan doesn’t seem to get as much media coverage as Iraq, but if you’re interested in catching up on how things are going there (one-sentence summary: not so great), the Washington Post recently ran an article (on 2/11/08) by Peter Baker, entitled “Conflicting Assessments of War in Afghanistan” (http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/02/10/AR2008021002437_pf.html). The New York Times also ran a much longer story by Elizabeth Rubin in its magazine section on 2/24/08 called “Battle Company is Out There,” which is definitely worth reading. (http://www.nytimes.com/2008/02/24/magazine/24afghanistan-t.html?ref=magazine)
Lastly, a prayer:
Loving God, Welcome into your arms the victims of violence and terrorism. Comfort their families and all who grieve for them. Help us in our fear and uncertainty, And bless us with the knowledge that we are secure in your love. Strengthen all those who work for peace, And may the peace the world cannot give reign in our hearts.
-Anonymous (source: http://www.beliefnet.com)
Every single person lost has multiple people still grieving for them.
March 18, 2008
FREE month on HurryDate.com!
If you’ve been curious to try HurryDate (http://www.hurrydate.com), one of the speed-dating companies, you’re in luck – in honor of St. Patrick’s Day, they’re giving away free 30 day subscriptions to HurryDate Online! You also get 25% off all speed-dating events while you are subscribed. Between now and March 22nd (the offer expires Sunday March 23rd), choose the one-month subscription package and enter the code POTOGOLD when prompted to pay. (Their e-mail notes, “You will be asked to enter a credit card to redeem your free month so that we may provide you with uninterrupted service after the first month is up. You may, however, cancel at any time prior to that so as not to be charged.”)
March 17, 2008
What Happened to Ms. Enabler
Just a quick postscript to my March 13th post, in case you’re wondering what ever happened to Ms. Enabler after Mr. Invisible died. Four months after his death, she attended a fellow teacher’s Halloween party, where one of the high school teachers asked her out. They ended up getting engaged only six months later and marrying that summer – barely 12 months after Mr. Invisible died (!). This after Ms. Enabler had always said she didn’t care about whether she and Mr. Invisible ever got married or not, because “it’s just a piece of paper.” Pretty weird, huh? J told me privately that she doubted the marriage would last, since it was so soon after Mr. Invisible’s death. I lost touch with Ms. Enabler, but last I heard she and her husband had moved to a bigger city, though still in Texas. I don’t know for sure if they’re still married, but when I Google’d her a couple years ago, she was still using her married name.
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