Match Point

Name: Match.com (http://www.match.com/)
What it is: On-line dating site
Cost: Free 72-hour trial period before your credit card is charged
If you don’t cancel during the free trial, it is:
$39.99 for one month
$22.99 per month for three months
$19.99 per month for six months -- and if you e-mail (or respond to e-mails from) at least five “eligibles” per month and still don’t meet your match, the following six months are free.
Random fact: You can set up a profile and search Match.com’s 20 million members for free, but to e-mail or receive e-mails from any of them, you have to pay. Keep in mind, that means anyone out there can see *you* without paying – they can’t get your name or contact info, of course, but they can view your photo.

The scoop: Over the past year I’ve dated 13 guys from Match, and overall it was a pretty positive experience. Most of them were only for one or two dates each, just because we didn’t end up having as much in common as we thought we would or there wasn’t that ‘spark.’ Although a couple guys just wanted a fling, most were very nice and seemed to want a real relationship. Looking back, the only truly bad experience I had was with a man I ended up never meeting (I’ll post about him later this week). And I did date one guy from Match for six weeks, and another for two months -- I’d probably still be going out with him if he hadn’t ended it, sigh.

My date: One guy seemed fairly normal on our date – it was afterward he became strange. I’ll call him Beating-A-Dead-Horse for reasons that will become obvious.

Beating-A-Dead-Horse, the second guy I ever met from Match, was five years younger, but he contacted me first, so I went with it. He was a terrific e-mailer, funny and smart, and after we made plans to meet, I joked that he'd recognize me at the restaurant because I'd be wearing a pink feather boa. I got to the restaurant -- and there he was, standing outside with a sheepish expression on his face, holding a pink feather boa. I could not stop laughing. "I love it!” I said.

"I'm glad you're here -- I was getting some strange looks," he admitted.

Dinner went well, and I was enjoying his company. As we finished, he suggested a movie, so we walked to a nearby theater to see "Pan's Labyrinth." (One-sentence review: Extremely well-done, but so depressing you kind of want to kill yourself.) The only weird thing he did on the date was, once we got into the theater we each went to the restroom, and when I came back out, I didn't see Beating-A-Dead-Horse anywhere. I stood there alone waiting for him, assuming he was still in the bathroom...only, he wasn't. He had come out first and was sitting on a ledge, smirking. "I wondered how long you would take to notice me!" he said. It annoyed me, first because it made me feel stupid, and second because it wasted five minutes when we could have been finding seats. We ended up getting the last two seats together in the entire theater, and we were lucky to get them.

I still liked him, though. But after we parted, a few days went by and I hadn't heard from him. Finally, I sent him a quick e-mail thanking him again for dinner and saying I'd had a good time, hoping that would prompt him to ask me out again. This is what he wrote back:

"Thanks for coming out on Friday. I had a good time too but I didn't really feel any chemistry between us. I wish you the best in the future and good luck with your search. Cheers, Beating-A-Dead-Horse”

Well. I can certainly take a hint, so of course I didn’t write him back. But would you believe, two days later he wrote and rejected me AGAIN!

"I'm not sure if you got my other email, but I honestly don't foresee a romantic future for us. However, if you want a platonic friend to do stuff with, I'm open to give that a try. And you're very welcome. Thanks for coming out."

At that point I thought, Sheesh, I'd better say something to this guy or he'll be e-mailing me a "rejection letter" every other day! So I just wrote back: "Thanks, Beating-A-Dead-Horse!” and signed my name.

At least I’ll always have a pink feather boa to remember him by.