Happy New Year, everyone! Guess what? One of my friends got engaged over Christmas vacation -- to a guy she met through Match.com a mere 7 1/2 months ago! They live in the same city and love to go out dancing, so I have a feeling they may have met each other eventually anyway. But Match.com brought them together first. They are really happy. A summer wedding is in the works. :)
Also, December 28th was the one-year anniversary of when the Nicest Guy in the World and I started dating! It doesn't feel like a whole year has gone by already. Which I guess is good -- better to feel like it hasn't been long at all than to feel like it's been way too long. ;)
A reader commented on my last post about a web site called Six Singles (http://www.SixSingles.com). It's an on-line dating site, but they also have interesting articles like "What If Your Profile Is A Dud?" and "What To Talk About on the First Real Date" -- worth checking out.
Showing posts with label online dating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label online dating. Show all posts
January 4, 2010
October 12, 2009
Dating errors, & dating success
If you're not having much luck on-line dating, check out David Wygant's article "14 Fatal Online Dating Errors That Single Women Make" (http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/singles/datingtips/33451/14-fatal-online-dating-errors-that-single-women-make;_ylt=At1N9.lxWma9fjGxbbqbYlRfjLR_). An interesting read, but I don't think I made any of the errors he mentioned (not putting up current photos, listing what you hate about Internet dating, lying about your age, etc.), and by the end of my on-line dating time I still wasn't having much luck.
Or, if you've been dating someone a while and are starting to think he's "the one," here's an article by Ruby Madren-Britton called "9 Signs Your Guy is a Keeper" (http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/singles/datingtips/88524/dating-tips-9-signs-a-guy-is-a-keeper). According to Madren-Britton, the nine signs are 1) he has his act together (i.e., not still struggling to grow up); 2) he puts you first; 3) he doesn't disappear when you're sick; 4) he asks about your family; 5) he makes time for your friends; 6) he's your biggest cheerleader; 7) he remembers the little things; 8) he's happy when you're happy; 9) he makes you feel the best you can be. A pretty good list, I think!
Or, if you've been dating someone a while and are starting to think he's "the one," here's an article by Ruby Madren-Britton called "9 Signs Your Guy is a Keeper" (http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/singles/datingtips/88524/dating-tips-9-signs-a-guy-is-a-keeper). According to Madren-Britton, the nine signs are 1) he has his act together (i.e., not still struggling to grow up); 2) he puts you first; 3) he doesn't disappear when you're sick; 4) he asks about your family; 5) he makes time for your friends; 6) he's your biggest cheerleader; 7) he remembers the little things; 8) he's happy when you're happy; 9) he makes you feel the best you can be. A pretty good list, I think!
February 24, 2009
Your Infinite On-line Dating Profile (!)
A friend sent me this very interesting article about how your on-line dating profile and the information you disclose to dating web sites can be used against you. In "Online Dating: Your Profile's Long, Scary Shelf Life" (http://www.computerworld.com/action/article.do?command=viewArticleBasic&articleId=9127799&intsrc=hm_list) Robert L. Mitchell writes about how on many dating sites, even if you cancel your subscription, the data still sits there in the company's records. The risk, as Mitchell writes, is that "'the detailed personality profiles can be disclosed in a lawsuit and then used against you in novel and negative ways,' says Pam Dixon, executive director of the World Privacy Forum. These include divorce or custody proceedings, employment-related lawsuits and potentially even medical-related lawsuits. Though rare, legal actions have been filed in cases ranging from date rape accusations to sexual harassment accusations to a lawsuit against former WellPoint Inc. executive David Colby by a woman who contended that he misrepresented himself on Match.com."
Hmmm. If I'd sued everyone who misrepresented himself on Match.com, I'd be a millionaire! Just kidding. ;) Maybe I was just lucky, but I don't think I actually met anyone who blatantly lied about himself (or perhaps I just didn't date them long enough to realize it!).
Hmmm. If I'd sued everyone who misrepresented himself on Match.com, I'd be a millionaire! Just kidding. ;) Maybe I was just lucky, but I don't think I actually met anyone who blatantly lied about himself (or perhaps I just didn't date them long enough to realize it!).
January 18, 2009
Man Panel
I noticed on Facebook the other day that one of my friends RSVP'd to attend something called "The Man Panel" (http://www.manpanel.com), an event in which you "join the CEO of OkCupid.com, an online dating expert, and a panel of male online daters to find out how to increase your odds of meeting someone online. Bring in your own profile to get feedback from the panel!" It's in Boston, so if you're in the Boston area you might want to check it out. The next one is on January 30th, and tickets are $8 on-line or $10 at the door.
The other day, the Nicest Guy in the World said, "I hardly ever use the pockets in this jacket, but today I did, and guess what I found?" He showed me a Metro North ticket stub from January 21, 2007 -- which must have been when he came into the city for our very first date! So he suggested we go out to dinner this Wednesday for the two-year anniversary of our first date...even though our second official "date" wasn't until January 1, 2009. ;) Isn't he sweet?
The other day, the Nicest Guy in the World said, "I hardly ever use the pockets in this jacket, but today I did, and guess what I found?" He showed me a Metro North ticket stub from January 21, 2007 -- which must have been when he came into the city for our very first date! So he suggested we go out to dinner this Wednesday for the two-year anniversary of our first date...even though our second official "date" wasn't until January 1, 2009. ;) Isn't he sweet?
January 11, 2009
Weird
Remember I.T. Guy from eHarmony (http://www.eharmony.com), also known as "Eye Infection Guy" because he cancelled what should have been our first date in October due to an alleged eye infection? He dropped out of contact for two weeks, then resurfaced, and we rescheduled for the Monday three days before Thanksgiving. He ended up cancelling again because he was still packing for his trip to visit his family in Florida for the holiday. In December we re-scheduled yet again, but this time I had to cancel because I was sick. Then we rescheduled for Sunday Dec. 21st -- or so I thought. Here is our exchange of e-mails:
On Fri, 12/19/08, The Dating Guru wrote:
Hi I.T. Guy!
How are you? On Sunday I may go to a Christmas concert from 3 - 4:30 PM or so, but otherwise I'm free. And on Monday I finish work at 7:30 PM, so I'm free after that.
Let me know what works best for you.
The Dating Guru
On Sat, 12/20/08, I.T. Guy wrote:
Dating Guru,
I am around later tonight (Saturday) and tomorrow , so if you are going to be in the city tomorrow early afternoon, we could meet then. Either way...whats your tel # ?
On Sat, Dec 20, 2008, The Dating Guru wrote:
Hi I.T. Guy,
Sounds good! My phone number is XXX-XXX-XXXX [NOTE: He actually already had my number, since we'd talked on the phone back in October, but whatever]. The concert I want to go to starts at 3:00 PM, so maybe we could meet at 2:00 or so? There's a Starbucks right nearby, so we could always meet there. But give me a call tomorrow and we can discuss.
Thanks!
The Dating Guru
And what happened? Not only did he NOT call me, he never even e-mailed me back! Just silence on his part. Christmas came and went, with no word from him.
Until New Year's Day, when I received this:
On Thu, 1/1/09, at 2:31 PM, I.T. Guy wrote:
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
I was like...huh? He didn't even apologize for not contacting me about 12/21 or anything. Weird!!
Obviously I didn't write him back -- I have a much more thoughtful guy in my life now, thank God!
On Fri, 12/19/08, The Dating Guru wrote:
Hi I.T. Guy!
How are you? On Sunday I may go to a Christmas concert from 3 - 4:30 PM or so, but otherwise I'm free. And on Monday I finish work at 7:30 PM, so I'm free after that.
Let me know what works best for you.
The Dating Guru
On Sat, 12/20/08, I.T. Guy wrote:
Dating Guru,
I am around later tonight (Saturday) and tomorrow , so if you are going to be in the city tomorrow early afternoon, we could meet then. Either way...whats your tel # ?
On Sat, Dec 20, 2008, The Dating Guru wrote:
Hi I.T. Guy,
Sounds good! My phone number is XXX-XXX-XXXX [NOTE: He actually already had my number, since we'd talked on the phone back in October, but whatever]. The concert I want to go to starts at 3:00 PM, so maybe we could meet at 2:00 or so? There's a Starbucks right nearby, so we could always meet there. But give me a call tomorrow and we can discuss.
Thanks!
The Dating Guru
And what happened? Not only did he NOT call me, he never even e-mailed me back! Just silence on his part. Christmas came and went, with no word from him.
Until New Year's Day, when I received this:
On Thu, 1/1/09, at 2:31 PM, I.T. Guy wrote:
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
I was like...huh? He didn't even apologize for not contacting me about 12/21 or anything. Weird!!
Obviously I didn't write him back -- I have a much more thoughtful guy in my life now, thank God!
January 5, 2009
I told him!
The Nicest Guy in the World and I drove up to Albany on Dec. 27th to visit a good friend of his since childhood & his wife, and their five-week-old baby. By then I knew I wanted to tell him that I liked him as more than a friend, but I didn't know when to bring it up, so I kept putting it off. We had a really fun visit with his friend and his family -- their baby is so cute! Nicest Guy had brought some great Christmas presents for the baby, including one I had suggested -- since his friend was a big fan of the rock group Twisted Sister back in the day, Nicest Guy got a Twisted Sister onesy for the baby, with the Twisted Sister logo and "I Wanna Walk!" printed on it. His friend loved it!
The other funny thing happened when Nicest Guy and his friend exchanged Christmas gifts. As Nicest Guy was opening one, his friend said hesitantly, "I don't know if you'll really like this or not, I just thought you might find it interesting...."
Nicest Guy laughed and said, "Well, I definitely know someone who'll want to borrow it." It was a PAUL SIMON DVD! His friend had no idea, but I am one of the biggest Paul Simon fans around. So it will be the perfect gift for me to steal when Nicest Guy's not looking, er, I mean, watch with him. ;)
We finally left at around 9 PM, and Nicest Guy drove me to NJ, where I was staying with my dad for a few days over the Christmas/New Year's holiday. The closer we got, the more nervous I felt. When we finally arrived at my dad's apartment, the street had enough parked cars and snow piles to prevent us from parking there, so we had to park way in the back of the complex by the Dumpster. We went inside to chat with my dad for a few minutes, and when Nicest Guy said he'd better be going, I said quickly. "I'll walk you to your car."
We walked quietly through the parking lot. It was a cold night, raining so lightly it was really just mist. I looked up at the moon, blurry in the fog, my hands jammed in my coat pockets. I was so nervous. I thought, what if I've misread every signal, misunderstood every sign, and he doesn't actually want to be more than friends after all?
As we got to his car and started to say good-bye, I almost chickened out, but I knew if I did I would regret it. So I finally blurted out, "Remember like a year ago when you said we should start dating and I said no?"
"Yeah," he said.
"Um -- I've changed my mind," I said, and held my breath.
He blinked. "Oh!" he said -- and then he broke into a grin. "Wow! Well -- wow! That would be -- that would be -- wow! Yes! Yes!"
We kissed then, between the Dumpster and the cars in the apartment complex parking lot. And that is how it came to be that two years after he first sent me a wink on Match.com, and one year and eleven months after our first date in January 2007, the Nicest Guy in the World and I planned our second official date -- for January 1, 2009.
:) :) :)
The other funny thing happened when Nicest Guy and his friend exchanged Christmas gifts. As Nicest Guy was opening one, his friend said hesitantly, "I don't know if you'll really like this or not, I just thought you might find it interesting...."
Nicest Guy laughed and said, "Well, I definitely know someone who'll want to borrow it." It was a PAUL SIMON DVD! His friend had no idea, but I am one of the biggest Paul Simon fans around. So it will be the perfect gift for me to steal when Nicest Guy's not looking, er, I mean, watch with him. ;)
We finally left at around 9 PM, and Nicest Guy drove me to NJ, where I was staying with my dad for a few days over the Christmas/New Year's holiday. The closer we got, the more nervous I felt. When we finally arrived at my dad's apartment, the street had enough parked cars and snow piles to prevent us from parking there, so we had to park way in the back of the complex by the Dumpster. We went inside to chat with my dad for a few minutes, and when Nicest Guy said he'd better be going, I said quickly. "I'll walk you to your car."
We walked quietly through the parking lot. It was a cold night, raining so lightly it was really just mist. I looked up at the moon, blurry in the fog, my hands jammed in my coat pockets. I was so nervous. I thought, what if I've misread every signal, misunderstood every sign, and he doesn't actually want to be more than friends after all?
As we got to his car and started to say good-bye, I almost chickened out, but I knew if I did I would regret it. So I finally blurted out, "Remember like a year ago when you said we should start dating and I said no?"
"Yeah," he said.
"Um -- I've changed my mind," I said, and held my breath.
He blinked. "Oh!" he said -- and then he broke into a grin. "Wow! Well -- wow! That would be -- that would be -- wow! Yes! Yes!"
We kissed then, between the Dumpster and the cars in the apartment complex parking lot. And that is how it came to be that two years after he first sent me a wink on Match.com, and one year and eleven months after our first date in January 2007, the Nicest Guy in the World and I planned our second official date -- for January 1, 2009.
:) :) :)
December 18, 2008
Ageism on Match.com??
I decided to do an experiment and re-join Match.com (http://www.match.com/) for one month. I joined on 11/18, so my one-month membership expired tonight. In the past I've had some success with Match -- in 2007 I dated two "Match men" for six to eight weeks (not at the same time), which is good for me.
But THIS time? Crickets. Here are the stats: over the course of one month, I wrote to 36 men whose profiles appealed to me. That's 36 personal, time-consuming, individualized e-mails -- more than one a day. And guess how many guys wrote me back?
Fewer.
Even fewer.
Way fewer.
Two.
Yes. A whopping two whole guys wrote me back. That's only a 5% rate of return! Oh, three or four guys did hit the button that sends an automatic message saying "thanks, but I've met someone and want to see how it goes." And one guy even wrote me a nice personal e-mail saying the same thing. But for the most part: SILENCE.
Did any guys contact me first? Yes -- but only five. And actually, only a couple of those were messages. The others were winks, which means all they had to do was make the minimal effort of clicking a button. I wrote back to three of them (the three who seemed normal). One stopped responding after a few messages. As of right now I'm still e-mailing two of them, or at least I think I am -- yesterday I sent them each a message explaining I was letting my membership lapse and giving them my personal e-mail address, but I haven't heard from either of them yet.
As for the two guys I contacted first who actually wrote me back, one stopped responding to me after a few messages. I met the other one for coffee last week. He seemed like he would be an interesting guy -- he didn't move to the U.S. until he was 16 and has done a lot of traveling. But we parted after an hour or so, and for some reason I haven't thought about him since. Just no chemistry, I guess? He must have felt the same way, because I haven't heard from him either.
So I wonder if the lack of responses and the lack of guys contacting me first is because I'm now 36. When I was on Match as a 34-year-old, and then again briefly as a 35-year-old, I certainly didn't get tons of responses, but it was definitely better than 5%, and more than 5 guys contacted me per month. So I'm thinking maybe a lot of guys search the site for women 35 and younger? In which case, I aged out of a lot of men's searches three months ago. I'm not sure what else it could be -- I even had the same photo because I couldn't figure out how to switch to a new primary photo. Guys did view my profile -- 342 guys, to be specific (the site lets you know). They just didn't contact me.
So much for Match.com.
But THIS time? Crickets. Here are the stats: over the course of one month, I wrote to 36 men whose profiles appealed to me. That's 36 personal, time-consuming, individualized e-mails -- more than one a day. And guess how many guys wrote me back?
Fewer.
Even fewer.
Way fewer.
Two.
Yes. A whopping two whole guys wrote me back. That's only a 5% rate of return! Oh, three or four guys did hit the button that sends an automatic message saying "thanks, but I've met someone and want to see how it goes." And one guy even wrote me a nice personal e-mail saying the same thing. But for the most part: SILENCE.
Did any guys contact me first? Yes -- but only five. And actually, only a couple of those were messages. The others were winks, which means all they had to do was make the minimal effort of clicking a button. I wrote back to three of them (the three who seemed normal). One stopped responding after a few messages. As of right now I'm still e-mailing two of them, or at least I think I am -- yesterday I sent them each a message explaining I was letting my membership lapse and giving them my personal e-mail address, but I haven't heard from either of them yet.
As for the two guys I contacted first who actually wrote me back, one stopped responding to me after a few messages. I met the other one for coffee last week. He seemed like he would be an interesting guy -- he didn't move to the U.S. until he was 16 and has done a lot of traveling. But we parted after an hour or so, and for some reason I haven't thought about him since. Just no chemistry, I guess? He must have felt the same way, because I haven't heard from him either.
So I wonder if the lack of responses and the lack of guys contacting me first is because I'm now 36. When I was on Match as a 34-year-old, and then again briefly as a 35-year-old, I certainly didn't get tons of responses, but it was definitely better than 5%, and more than 5 guys contacted me per month. So I'm thinking maybe a lot of guys search the site for women 35 and younger? In which case, I aged out of a lot of men's searches three months ago. I'm not sure what else it could be -- I even had the same photo because I couldn't figure out how to switch to a new primary photo. Guys did view my profile -- 342 guys, to be specific (the site lets you know). They just didn't contact me.
So much for Match.com.
November 20, 2008
Long Island Grad Student met someone else
To recap: I had what seemed like a great date with Long Island Grad Student (who I met on eHarmony, http://www.eharmony.com/) a week and a half ago. I e-mailed him the next day to thank him, he e-mailed me back a day later, I e-mailed him the day after that, and then -- silence.
Until today.
He made small talk in the beginning of the e-mail before writing:
"I've really appreciated getting to know you a bit. You seem like a genuine and kind woman. So I want to be up-front with you about something, because it's definitely affecting my communication lately. I have found myself interested in someone -- actually someone in my 'real' life, not an online someone, but an old friend. Came recently and out of the blue and at their initiation. I don't know where it's going to lead, but it is definitely taking up a lot of my head and heart space, and is definitely affecting my ability to invest in other relationships at this point. I think it would be entirely unfair NOT to share this with you. I certainly don't expect you to 'wait around' for me to see where this is going to lead -- but I just can't give what a budding friendship/relationship deserves. The timing just isn't great for me right now. I'm sorry. I hope you understand. It seems sucky to suggest to put things on hold until I can see where things will lead with this person, but at this point, that's all I have to offer. So, let me know your thoughts. At any rate, as we haven't touched base in some time, I do hope you are doing well. I'm so sorry to spring this on you -- it's quite taken me by surprise, as well. Take care! Write when you can...Long Island Grad Student"
At least he let me know, and was really nice about it, too. Timing is everything, isn't it?
In other news, IT Guy (also known in my mind as "Eye Infection Guy") and I are FINALLY going to meet in person next Monday. He's funny -- in his last e-mail to me he wrote, "Curiousity is killing me...I think I have to meet you soon!" Should be interesting.
Until today.
He made small talk in the beginning of the e-mail before writing:
"I've really appreciated getting to know you a bit. You seem like a genuine and kind woman. So I want to be up-front with you about something, because it's definitely affecting my communication lately. I have found myself interested in someone -- actually someone in my 'real' life, not an online someone, but an old friend. Came recently and out of the blue and at their initiation. I don't know where it's going to lead, but it is definitely taking up a lot of my head and heart space, and is definitely affecting my ability to invest in other relationships at this point. I think it would be entirely unfair NOT to share this with you. I certainly don't expect you to 'wait around' for me to see where this is going to lead -- but I just can't give what a budding friendship/relationship deserves. The timing just isn't great for me right now. I'm sorry. I hope you understand. It seems sucky to suggest to put things on hold until I can see where things will lead with this person, but at this point, that's all I have to offer. So, let me know your thoughts. At any rate, as we haven't touched base in some time, I do hope you are doing well. I'm so sorry to spring this on you -- it's quite taken me by surprise, as well. Take care! Write when you can...Long Island Grad Student"
At least he let me know, and was really nice about it, too. Timing is everything, isn't it?
In other news, IT Guy (also known in my mind as "Eye Infection Guy") and I are FINALLY going to meet in person next Monday. He's funny -- in his last e-mail to me he wrote, "Curiousity is killing me...I think I have to meet you soon!" Should be interesting.
November 18, 2008
Two eHarmony guys down, one more to go...
I guess my enjoyable first date with Long Island Grad Student (from eHarmony: http://www.eharmony.com/) was actually my only date with him, since I e-mailed him last Wednesday and never heard back. Oh well.
I finally met New Jersey Journalist (also from eHarmony) for lunch one day last week. This is going to sound completely and utterly shallow, but I found him -- weird-looking. Seriously, the parts of his body seemed disproportionate to each other, as if he'd been put together from the head, torso, and limbs from six different men of six different sizes. It was very strange.
Anyway, he was nice enough, but even if I'd been physically attracted to him, I don't think he would've done it for me. Also, he was the first guy in a long time who didn't take the check as soon as the waiter put it down. Nope, not at all. He was totally fine with me looking it over, pulling out my wallet, and paying for my own lunch. I know he's a journalist, not some rich guy -- but he also knew that I am underemployed and receiving unemployment benefits right now. It would've been really nice if he'd picked up the tab.
Of course, only a few hours later he wrote me an enthusiastic e-mail about what a good time he'd had and how we should do it again sometime. But I just wasn't feeling it. Plus, I'm sorry, but we'd each have to pack our own meals and have a winter picnic or something, because I can't afford to go out to restaurants regularly right now unless he'd be willing to treat me.
Meanwhile, remember IT Guy, also from eHarmony? We were supposed to meet for coffee back on Oct. 23, but he cancelled at the last minute due to an eye infection. We talked on the phone that night, and he promised to text me the following week about re-scheduling. Except he never did, and I never heard from him again -- until this past Saturday, when he e-mailed me out of the blue about getting together on Sunday. I already had plans, but we might meet up this weekend instead. I'll believe it when it happens!
I finally met New Jersey Journalist (also from eHarmony) for lunch one day last week. This is going to sound completely and utterly shallow, but I found him -- weird-looking. Seriously, the parts of his body seemed disproportionate to each other, as if he'd been put together from the head, torso, and limbs from six different men of six different sizes. It was very strange.
Anyway, he was nice enough, but even if I'd been physically attracted to him, I don't think he would've done it for me. Also, he was the first guy in a long time who didn't take the check as soon as the waiter put it down. Nope, not at all. He was totally fine with me looking it over, pulling out my wallet, and paying for my own lunch. I know he's a journalist, not some rich guy -- but he also knew that I am underemployed and receiving unemployment benefits right now. It would've been really nice if he'd picked up the tab.
Of course, only a few hours later he wrote me an enthusiastic e-mail about what a good time he'd had and how we should do it again sometime. But I just wasn't feeling it. Plus, I'm sorry, but we'd each have to pack our own meals and have a winter picnic or something, because I can't afford to go out to restaurants regularly right now unless he'd be willing to treat me.
Meanwhile, remember IT Guy, also from eHarmony? We were supposed to meet for coffee back on Oct. 23, but he cancelled at the last minute due to an eye infection. We talked on the phone that night, and he promised to text me the following week about re-scheduling. Except he never did, and I never heard from him again -- until this past Saturday, when he e-mailed me out of the blue about getting together on Sunday. I already had plans, but we might meet up this weekend instead. I'll believe it when it happens!
November 15, 2008
Long Island Grad Student: maybe not so into me
On Monday night I e-mailed Long Island Grad Student, who I met on eHarmony (http://www.eHarmony.com). I said I had a nice time meeting him on Sunday. I asked if his drive home Sunday night was okay, if he got home in time to catch the Giants game, and if he had off from school for Veterans' Day. I also wrote that I had essays to grade but that I kept procrastinating about grading them.
On Tuesday night, he wrote back:
"Hey, Dating Guru - same here! Got back for the 2nd half - a rousing Giants victory....
On Tuesday night, he wrote back:
"Hey, Dating Guru - same here! Got back for the 2nd half - a rousing Giants victory....
No, we've had soooo many days off - but not Veteran's Day. What's up with that?
Tonight: sew pants!
Hope grading was good times,
Long Island Grad Student"
That was it. Short, with no mention of a possible second date. Confusing. So on Wednesday night, I wrote him back. But now it's Friday night, and I still haven't heard from him.
Hope grading was good times,
Long Island Grad Student"
That was it. Short, with no mention of a possible second date. Confusing. So on Wednesday night, I wrote him back. But now it's Friday night, and I still haven't heard from him.
November 10, 2008
I actually liked Long Island Grad Student (!)
The day after I wrote my irritated post on Nov. 7th wondering why my eHarmony guys (http://www.eharmony.com/) only seemed to want to be penpals, both Long Island Grad Student AND New Jersey Journalist got back to me with concrete plans to meet! The moral: complaining affects the universe??
So, at a coffee shop yesterday I met Long Island Grad Student, who’s 32 and getting his master’s in public health. Very nice, smart, funny, a good listener. He has moved around a bit: Pittsburgh, Vermont, even Buffalo, where my mom grew up and where I still have relatives. On everyone’s eHarmony profile, there’s a part at the end that says, “Is there anything else you’d like your potential dates to know?” or something like that. That’s where I wrote that I’m interested in adopting a child one day. (It’s also where I put “no Republicans, please!”)
As we talked yesterday, LI Grad Student said, “I think I mentioned this to you in an e-mail, but I really liked what you wrote in your profile about wanting to adopt a child someday,” and he asked me why I wanted to. I explained that I’ve just always known, ever since I was a teenager, that I’m supposed to adopt older kids. “It’s almost like a calling,” I added. I was just wondering if the term “calling” had sounded too pretentious when he surprised me by saying, “Me, too. Especially with all the overpopulation in the world, I’ve always thought, why make a kid when there are so many already here who need parents? Ever since elementary school, I’ve thought about it.”
I was shocked. I told him how guys in general don’t seem as open to the idea of adoption as women. I’ve read a lot of personal stories by women who have adopted, and in many cases the husbands were really not too enthused at first and had to be convinced. “Men seem to want to spread their seed,” I said.
LI Grad Student laughed and said, "Well, I have to admit, in the past couple of years I’ve thought it might be nice to have one biological kid. But I do still want to adopt.” He said a good friend and his wife adopted three kids from Colombia at the ages of three, four, and six, and she got unexpectedly pregnant one year later (!). So it was a real instant family, but it's all working out well for them.
We drank hot chocolate and talked for about an hour and a half. Then he had to go because he’d promised he’d get back to LI in time to watch the football game with his dad. As we walked out of the coffee shop, he said he’d had a good time and asked shyly. “Could I call you sometime?” I said yes, and we were saying our goodbyes when he got a strange look on his face and said. “I think I’m going to totally embarrass myself right now, but I have to ask you a question.”
“What?” I couldn’t imagine what he was going to say.
He lowered his voice and said, “If I turn around, can you tell me if my pants have split?” He turned around, and sure enough, his pants had TOTALLY split, right across the butt – I could see his underwear! I tried not to laugh as I explained the situation and asked, “Do you feel a draft?”
“Oh, big time.”
“It’s too bad you didn’t bring a jacket,” I said.
“Or an extra set of pants,” he sighed. ;) But at least he’d driven in, so he could just slide into his car and drive home rather than stand on a subway or a Long Island Rail Road train with no way to disguise it!
So, at a coffee shop yesterday I met Long Island Grad Student, who’s 32 and getting his master’s in public health. Very nice, smart, funny, a good listener. He has moved around a bit: Pittsburgh, Vermont, even Buffalo, where my mom grew up and where I still have relatives. On everyone’s eHarmony profile, there’s a part at the end that says, “Is there anything else you’d like your potential dates to know?” or something like that. That’s where I wrote that I’m interested in adopting a child one day. (It’s also where I put “no Republicans, please!”)
As we talked yesterday, LI Grad Student said, “I think I mentioned this to you in an e-mail, but I really liked what you wrote in your profile about wanting to adopt a child someday,” and he asked me why I wanted to. I explained that I’ve just always known, ever since I was a teenager, that I’m supposed to adopt older kids. “It’s almost like a calling,” I added. I was just wondering if the term “calling” had sounded too pretentious when he surprised me by saying, “Me, too. Especially with all the overpopulation in the world, I’ve always thought, why make a kid when there are so many already here who need parents? Ever since elementary school, I’ve thought about it.”
I was shocked. I told him how guys in general don’t seem as open to the idea of adoption as women. I’ve read a lot of personal stories by women who have adopted, and in many cases the husbands were really not too enthused at first and had to be convinced. “Men seem to want to spread their seed,” I said.
LI Grad Student laughed and said, "Well, I have to admit, in the past couple of years I’ve thought it might be nice to have one biological kid. But I do still want to adopt.” He said a good friend and his wife adopted three kids from Colombia at the ages of three, four, and six, and she got unexpectedly pregnant one year later (!). So it was a real instant family, but it's all working out well for them.
We drank hot chocolate and talked for about an hour and a half. Then he had to go because he’d promised he’d get back to LI in time to watch the football game with his dad. As we walked out of the coffee shop, he said he’d had a good time and asked shyly. “Could I call you sometime?” I said yes, and we were saying our goodbyes when he got a strange look on his face and said. “I think I’m going to totally embarrass myself right now, but I have to ask you a question.”
“What?” I couldn’t imagine what he was going to say.
He lowered his voice and said, “If I turn around, can you tell me if my pants have split?” He turned around, and sure enough, his pants had TOTALLY split, right across the butt – I could see his underwear! I tried not to laugh as I explained the situation and asked, “Do you feel a draft?”
“Oh, big time.”
“It’s too bad you didn’t bring a jacket,” I said.
“Or an extra set of pants,” he sighed. ;) But at least he’d driven in, so he could just slide into his car and drive home rather than stand on a subway or a Long Island Rail Road train with no way to disguise it!
October 30, 2008
No dates this week...
...unless you count my hanging out with the Nicest Guy in the World as a date. I had a lot of fun -- I do like him! It's just that whenever I think about not being able to date other people, I get nervous. Maybe I'm the one with a fear of commitment. :P
I thought I'd have a date with IT Guy (from eHarmony http://www.eharmony.com/) by now. We were supposed to meet last Thursday, but he cancelled at the last minute because of an eye infection. We had a nice chat on the phone that night, and as we said good-bye, he said we should re-schedule for this week. "I'll text you," he said. ??? Maybe I'm showing my age here, but -- text me? What are you, 12? We got through our first actual phone call just fine -- why not continue the practice? Anyway, I haven't heard a peep from him (in any form) since. Strange.
But, I've been enjoying e-mailing with New Jersey Journalist (also from eHarmony). I finally had to suggest actually getting together in person, which normally I wouldn't do, but after a few weeks of great e-mails I was too impatient to wait. So we're going to meet in the city next week. Since he's a journalist, he's taking a week off starting on Election Day just to relax. Can't say I blame him!
Interesting article by Tara Parker-Pope in Monday's New York Times called "Love, Sex and the Changing Landscape of Infidelity" (http://www.nytimes.com/2008/10/28/health/28well.html?_r=1&scp=1&sq=infidelity&st=cse&oref=slogin). Parker-Pope quotes from studies showing that "in any given year, about 10 percent of married people — 12 percent of men and 7 percent of women — say they have had sex outside their marriage." But younger married women are now closing the gender gap — they are almost as likely to cheat as their husbands are. Also, "the lifetime rate of infidelity for men over 60 increased to 28 percent in 2006, up from 20 percent in 1991. For women over 60, the increase is more striking: to 15 percent, up from 5 percent in 1991."
On a happier note, thank you to all who have been clicking on my ads: I just passed the $50 earning mark! Once I hit $100, I'll get my first check. Thanks again!
I thought I'd have a date with IT Guy (from eHarmony http://www.eharmony.com/) by now. We were supposed to meet last Thursday, but he cancelled at the last minute because of an eye infection. We had a nice chat on the phone that night, and as we said good-bye, he said we should re-schedule for this week. "I'll text you," he said. ??? Maybe I'm showing my age here, but -- text me? What are you, 12? We got through our first actual phone call just fine -- why not continue the practice? Anyway, I haven't heard a peep from him (in any form) since. Strange.
But, I've been enjoying e-mailing with New Jersey Journalist (also from eHarmony). I finally had to suggest actually getting together in person, which normally I wouldn't do, but after a few weeks of great e-mails I was too impatient to wait. So we're going to meet in the city next week. Since he's a journalist, he's taking a week off starting on Election Day just to relax. Can't say I blame him!
Interesting article by Tara Parker-Pope in Monday's New York Times called "Love, Sex and the Changing Landscape of Infidelity" (http://www.nytimes.com/2008/10/28/health/28well.html?_r=1&scp=1&sq=infidelity&st=cse&oref=slogin). Parker-Pope quotes from studies showing that "in any given year, about 10 percent of married people — 12 percent of men and 7 percent of women — say they have had sex outside their marriage." But younger married women are now closing the gender gap — they are almost as likely to cheat as their husbands are. Also, "the lifetime rate of infidelity for men over 60 increased to 28 percent in 2006, up from 20 percent in 1991. For women over 60, the increase is more striking: to 15 percent, up from 5 percent in 1991."
On a happier note, thank you to all who have been clicking on my ads: I just passed the $50 earning mark! Once I hit $100, I'll get my first check. Thanks again!
October 24, 2008
Weird
I've received two strange e-mails from two of the eHarmony guys I'm in open communication with. Nothing scary or anything, just...odd. One of them had asked me why I became Catholic this year. I told him about why the religion appealed to me, and this is what he wrote back:
>You admire the Catholic emphasis on social justice? What does that entail? The wearing of the scarlet letter? I don't think the people in the book were Catholic. I can't remember. Protestant?
Um...huh?? Why does he seem to think Catholics want poor people to wear a scarlet letter? Or does he think Catholics wear one? The characters in "Scarlet Letter" were Puritans, and Hester Prynne wore the scarlet letter because she was convicted of adultery, so I don't see the connection at all. Such a weird response.
Meanwhile, in only his second e-mail to me ever, another eHarmony guy wrote that he would like to give me a better sense of what he's looking for. He then proceeded to go on and on about how he thinks there's a woman out there "with whom I can have a very special and long-lasting emotional and physical intimacy." He said he likes to be physically demonstrative in public ("within reason of course"). He wrote, "I love to see a woman's eyes sparkle and know that she is the way she is because no other man can make her feel special the way I do. Through good two-way communication, I seek over time to touch a deep place in her mind and heart, a place close to the very essence who she is as a complete woman. At the same time, we would mutually respect each other and work as a team to be the best people that we can be, both as individuals and as a couple. As idealistic that sounds, I believe those are the ingredients to maintain a long-lasting connection and relationship."
Which sounds great and all, but it's only his second e-mail to me -- talk about pressure! If he goes into every first date expecting that kind of connection, no wonder he's still single. Then he asked me to tell him about an issue I feel passionately about; if I could make men understand one thing, what would it be?; and "what compliment have you gotten in your life that has made you feel as though you were the most beautiful and sensual woman ever - i.e. without it being some lame cheesy pickup line?"
He did this to me in his first e-mail, too, asking me to describe a dream trip I'd like to take with "that special man in your life -- what would it be like?" and "What do you suppose is the difference between the kind of man you’re attracted to on the outside and the kind of guy who would truly fulfill you on the inside?" I keep thinking, can't we just get to know each other through natural conversation instead of all these deep philosophical questions? One or two are fine, but it's only his second e-mail to me and he's already making my head hurt.
Last night I was supposed to have my first date with the IT guy I've been communicating with, but he had to cancel due to an eye infection (ew). We talked on the phone tonight, though, and he actually sounds normal. We started talking about the presidential election, and he said, "I think it's going to be really close." I said, "I know, I'm so nervous!" Then I suddenly got even MORE nervous because I thought, oh, crap, who is he voting for?? If he says McCain, my heart will sink! (Despite living in one of the most liberal cities in the country, the Republicans -- all 12 of them -- always seem to find me.) Fortunately, he started talking about a friend of his who is canvassing for Obama in Florida next week. What a relief! Hopefully he'll be feeling better next week and we can meet in person.
>You admire the Catholic emphasis on social justice? What does that entail? The wearing of the scarlet letter? I don't think the people in the book were Catholic. I can't remember. Protestant?
Um...huh?? Why does he seem to think Catholics want poor people to wear a scarlet letter? Or does he think Catholics wear one? The characters in "Scarlet Letter" were Puritans, and Hester Prynne wore the scarlet letter because she was convicted of adultery, so I don't see the connection at all. Such a weird response.
Meanwhile, in only his second e-mail to me ever, another eHarmony guy wrote that he would like to give me a better sense of what he's looking for. He then proceeded to go on and on about how he thinks there's a woman out there "with whom I can have a very special and long-lasting emotional and physical intimacy." He said he likes to be physically demonstrative in public ("within reason of course"). He wrote, "I love to see a woman's eyes sparkle and know that she is the way she is because no other man can make her feel special the way I do. Through good two-way communication, I seek over time to touch a deep place in her mind and heart, a place close to the very essence who she is as a complete woman. At the same time, we would mutually respect each other and work as a team to be the best people that we can be, both as individuals and as a couple. As idealistic that sounds, I believe those are the ingredients to maintain a long-lasting connection and relationship."
Which sounds great and all, but it's only his second e-mail to me -- talk about pressure! If he goes into every first date expecting that kind of connection, no wonder he's still single. Then he asked me to tell him about an issue I feel passionately about; if I could make men understand one thing, what would it be?; and "what compliment have you gotten in your life that has made you feel as though you were the most beautiful and sensual woman ever - i.e. without it being some lame cheesy pickup line?"
He did this to me in his first e-mail, too, asking me to describe a dream trip I'd like to take with "that special man in your life -- what would it be like?" and "What do you suppose is the difference between the kind of man you’re attracted to on the outside and the kind of guy who would truly fulfill you on the inside?" I keep thinking, can't we just get to know each other through natural conversation instead of all these deep philosophical questions? One or two are fine, but it's only his second e-mail to me and he's already making my head hurt.
Last night I was supposed to have my first date with the IT guy I've been communicating with, but he had to cancel due to an eye infection (ew). We talked on the phone tonight, though, and he actually sounds normal. We started talking about the presidential election, and he said, "I think it's going to be really close." I said, "I know, I'm so nervous!" Then I suddenly got even MORE nervous because I thought, oh, crap, who is he voting for?? If he says McCain, my heart will sink! (Despite living in one of the most liberal cities in the country, the Republicans -- all 12 of them -- always seem to find me.) Fortunately, he started talking about a friend of his who is canvassing for Obama in Florida next week. What a relief! Hopefully he'll be feeling better next week and we can meet in person.
October 21, 2008
It rains, it pours....
All these guys are coming out of the woodwork on eHarmony (http://www.eHarmony.com) and actually, like, responding to me in a timely manner! Which is great, because my three-months-for-the-price-of-one subscription expires this Thursday, and I'm going to let it lapse. As I mentioned in my Oct. 15th post, I'm in open communication with a 43-year-old journalist, a 36-year-old lawyer, and a 32-year-old full-time grad student working toward a master's in public health. I'm now also in open communication with a 41-year-old IT person, and a 33-year-old dental resident. No meetings in person yet, though. I'll keep you posted.
October 15, 2008
eHarmony: An Update
Exciting news: Liz Rizzo, a blogger out of L.A., linked to my "Kicked off e-Harmony" post on her Everyday Goddess blog at http://everydaygoddess.typepad.com/everyday_goddess/2008/10/lets-talk-about-eharmony-shall-we.html She thinks that guy was kicked off eHarmony because he was married, by the way. Anyway, in her interesting and funny post, "Let's Talk About eHarmony, Shall We?", she discusses her positive experiences with eHarmony in the past, as compared to the lack of activity she's experiencing now. But eHarmony always starts slow. At least for me it does. I've been on the site again for nearly three months, and I didn't meet any guys in person until last week! You have to jump through so many hoops to get to open communication that it takes a while. But sometimes that can be a good thing -- after all, it saved me from meeting the guy who got kicked off! :O
My three-month subscription expires next week, and I'm going to let it lapse because I am currently in open communication with three guys who seem promising. One is a journalist, one is a lawyer, and one is a full-time grad student working toward a master's in public health. I've been e-mailing back and forth with the journalist and the grad student for a week or so now, and just sent my first e-mail to the lawyer. Hopefully I'll meet at least one of them in person sometime soon.
But remember when I went to the movies with Sweet but Shy last week? As the movie ended and the lights came on, I thought, "I wish I were here with the Nicest Guy in the World instead." And I found myself a little surprised at my own thought...but pleasantly so.
My three-month subscription expires next week, and I'm going to let it lapse because I am currently in open communication with three guys who seem promising. One is a journalist, one is a lawyer, and one is a full-time grad student working toward a master's in public health. I've been e-mailing back and forth with the journalist and the grad student for a week or so now, and just sent my first e-mail to the lawyer. Hopefully I'll meet at least one of them in person sometime soon.
But remember when I went to the movies with Sweet but Shy last week? As the movie ended and the lights came on, I thought, "I wish I were here with the Nicest Guy in the World instead." And I found myself a little surprised at my own thought...but pleasantly so.
October 14, 2008
What are you, my diet coach?
Sweet but Shy (formerly known as Mr. No Touchy-Feely) took me out for my birthday on Friday night -- a month late, but still. He did pick a nice restaurant. I even changed out of my jeans for the occasion.
After we ordered, I asked, "Are you hungry?"
"Now I am," he said, "but I really wasn't all day. I didn't eat lunch."
I was surprised. "So you haven't eaten anything since breakfast?"
"No, since last night."
!!! "If I hadn't had anything since last night, I would be eating my own arm right now," I said.
"Well, I had an iced coffee this morning," he said. "But that happens to me a lot. Sometimes I just don't get hungry all day."
I was having trouble making sense of this. "I have to eat every three hours," I informed him.
He asked me what I'd eaten that day.
"Well, let's see." I thought for a minute. "A bowl of Cheerios and a bowl of Lucky Charms. Later on, a raspberry yogurt. Then an apple, and a banana. And eight or nine of those little Dove chocolates."
His eyes widened in such shock, you would've thought I'd admitted to polishing off four ice cream sundaes. "Eight or nine chocolates!?" he said.
"Yeah, but they're small."
"But that's so much sugar!" he protested.
"Well, it's probably the equivalent of one candy bar."
"But how many calories is that?" he persisted.
Now I was all self-conscious. "Um, well, five of them are 220 calories -- that's one serving -- so eight would be around 350 calories."
"It's just so much sugar!" he said again.
"But I don't drink any soda, diet or regular,"I said. "I don't drink any coffee. I barely drink alcohol. It's my only vice!" I was starting to get annoyed now. I mean, according to the Body Mass Index I'm within a normal weight for my height, I go to the gym regularly, the last time I had blood work done my sugar was fine, my good cholesterol was high and my bad cholesterol was low. I think I can safely eat the equivalent of one chocolate bar without the world coming to an end.
So because I was getting irritated, I really wasn't in the mood to ask him about the status of our relationship. I think I have to come to the conclusion that it's not going anywhere. Especially since this time, all I got was a hug. Not even a kiss on the cheek!
But it was funny, when we went to the movies he bought a popcorn and a soda. We settled into our seats, he took a big drink of the soda, got a weird look on his face and said, "Uh-oh -- they gave me regular instead of diet. That's what I get for giving you such a hard time about the chocolate earlier!"
What can I say? Karma's rough sometimes. ;)
After we ordered, I asked, "Are you hungry?"
"Now I am," he said, "but I really wasn't all day. I didn't eat lunch."
I was surprised. "So you haven't eaten anything since breakfast?"
"No, since last night."
!!! "If I hadn't had anything since last night, I would be eating my own arm right now," I said.
"Well, I had an iced coffee this morning," he said. "But that happens to me a lot. Sometimes I just don't get hungry all day."
I was having trouble making sense of this. "I have to eat every three hours," I informed him.
He asked me what I'd eaten that day.
"Well, let's see." I thought for a minute. "A bowl of Cheerios and a bowl of Lucky Charms. Later on, a raspberry yogurt. Then an apple, and a banana. And eight or nine of those little Dove chocolates."
His eyes widened in such shock, you would've thought I'd admitted to polishing off four ice cream sundaes. "Eight or nine chocolates!?" he said.
"Yeah, but they're small."
"But that's so much sugar!" he protested.
"Well, it's probably the equivalent of one candy bar."
"But how many calories is that?" he persisted.
Now I was all self-conscious. "Um, well, five of them are 220 calories -- that's one serving -- so eight would be around 350 calories."
"It's just so much sugar!" he said again.
"But I don't drink any soda, diet or regular,"I said. "I don't drink any coffee. I barely drink alcohol. It's my only vice!" I was starting to get annoyed now. I mean, according to the Body Mass Index I'm within a normal weight for my height, I go to the gym regularly, the last time I had blood work done my sugar was fine, my good cholesterol was high and my bad cholesterol was low. I think I can safely eat the equivalent of one chocolate bar without the world coming to an end.
So because I was getting irritated, I really wasn't in the mood to ask him about the status of our relationship. I think I have to come to the conclusion that it's not going anywhere. Especially since this time, all I got was a hug. Not even a kiss on the cheek!
But it was funny, when we went to the movies he bought a popcorn and a soda. We settled into our seats, he took a big drink of the soda, got a weird look on his face and said, "Uh-oh -- they gave me regular instead of diet. That's what I get for giving you such a hard time about the chocolate earlier!"
What can I say? Karma's rough sometimes. ;)
October 9, 2008
Kicked off eHarmony (!)
Apparently it's possible to do something so terrible that eHarmony (http://www.eHarmony.com) doesn't even want to take your money anymore -- check out this e-mail I received on Wednesday:
* * *
From: eHarmony Customer Care
Subject: IMPORTANT – Match Termination Notification: (20693209)
Date: Wednesday, October 8, 2008, 1:15 PM
Dear eHarmony Friend,
Making your eHarmony experience safe and successful is important to us. As a
past or present user, we want to inform you that eHarmony has taken action to
remove one of your matches, Craig from Manhattan, from the eHarmony.com
service. This decision was made in accordance with our terms and conditions.
Consistent with our privacy policy, we do not disclose the specific reasons for
this person’s removal. eHarmony.com disclaims any responsibility or liability
with respect to any continued involvement between you and any person whose
account is closed by eHarmony.com. Please visit the links below for further
information on our privacy policy, and to obtain safety tips on corresponding
with matches.
http://www.eharmony.com/singles/servlet/about/terms
http://www.eharmony.com/singles/servlet/privacy/statement
http://www.eharmony.com/singles/servlet/safety/tips
To address any questions you may have, please visit our Frequently Asked
Questions section concerning the removal of users from our service. You can find
this information at the following link:
https://help-singles.eharmony.com/cgi-bin/eharmony_singles.cfg/php/enduser/guided_adp.php?p_faqid=1025
Sincerely,
Customer Relations
eHarmony
* * *
Crazy, huh? He had actually seemed like one of the more promising guys on the site -- good job, had traveled extensively, etc. I'd almost made it to the Open Communication stage with him, where you can finally write messages to each other freely instead of just sending each other pre-formed questions through the site. I wonder what he did to get kicked off!? I clicked on the last link above, which said: "eHarmony may determine that an account should be closed based on routine monitoring and review of account activity and/or information received regarding a member's account or activity. If an account is closed by eHarmony for Terms and Conditions violations, eHarmony will make every effort to notify any past or present customers matched to the users whose account has been closed. If you have received a notification regarding a match's account being closed, we strongly recommend that you discontinue any further communication with this match."
There was also another link to click on, which said:
* * *
Question
What are the most common reasons for closing a match's account?
Answer
The most common reason for account closure is a violation of eHarmony's Terms and Conditions such as the misrepresentation of personal information (name, identity, address, age or marital status)
* * *
But if a man was married but dating women from eHarmony and pretending to be single, how would they know? Did enough women he dated figure it out and tell e-Harmony? Or did he just write a vulgar e-mail to someone and she complained? Whatever it was, I'm relieved they shut down his account before I wasted time e-mailing him or, even worse, meeting him.
* * *
From: eHarmony Customer Care
Subject: IMPORTANT – Match Termination Notification: (20693209)
Date: Wednesday, October 8, 2008, 1:15 PM
Dear eHarmony Friend,
Making your eHarmony experience safe and successful is important to us. As a
past or present user, we want to inform you that eHarmony has taken action to
remove one of your matches, Craig from Manhattan, from the eHarmony.com
service. This decision was made in accordance with our terms and conditions.
Consistent with our privacy policy, we do not disclose the specific reasons for
this person’s removal. eHarmony.com disclaims any responsibility or liability
with respect to any continued involvement between you and any person whose
account is closed by eHarmony.com. Please visit the links below for further
information on our privacy policy, and to obtain safety tips on corresponding
with matches.
http://www.eharmony.com/singles/servlet/about/terms
http://www.eharmony.com/singles/servlet/privacy/statement
http://www.eharmony.com/singles/servlet/safety/tips
To address any questions you may have, please visit our Frequently Asked
Questions section concerning the removal of users from our service. You can find
this information at the following link:
https://help-singles.eharmony.com/cgi-bin/eharmony_singles.cfg/php/enduser/guided_adp.php?p_faqid=1025
Sincerely,
Customer Relations
eHarmony
* * *
Crazy, huh? He had actually seemed like one of the more promising guys on the site -- good job, had traveled extensively, etc. I'd almost made it to the Open Communication stage with him, where you can finally write messages to each other freely instead of just sending each other pre-formed questions through the site. I wonder what he did to get kicked off!? I clicked on the last link above, which said: "eHarmony may determine that an account should be closed based on routine monitoring and review of account activity and/or information received regarding a member's account or activity. If an account is closed by eHarmony for Terms and Conditions violations, eHarmony will make every effort to notify any past or present customers matched to the users whose account has been closed. If you have received a notification regarding a match's account being closed, we strongly recommend that you discontinue any further communication with this match."
There was also another link to click on, which said:
* * *
Question
What are the most common reasons for closing a match's account?
Answer
The most common reason for account closure is a violation of eHarmony's Terms and Conditions such as the misrepresentation of personal information (name, identity, address, age or marital status)
* * *
But if a man was married but dating women from eHarmony and pretending to be single, how would they know? Did enough women he dated figure it out and tell e-Harmony? Or did he just write a vulgar e-mail to someone and she complained? Whatever it was, I'm relieved they shut down his account before I wasted time e-mailing him or, even worse, meeting him.
September 15, 2008
Eharmony success story
A friend of mine is getting married -- to a guy she met on eHarmony (http://www.eHarmony.com)! He was only the second guy she met from the site, but he was the one. After dating for seven months, they just got engaged. Yay! It's always reassuring to be reminded that these on-line dating sites do actually work sometimes. :) Congratulations, friend!
August 6, 2008
Five ways to scare a guy away
I’m pleased to report that I haven’t engaged in any of the “Five Ways to Scare a Guy Away,” according to eHarmony (http://advice.eharmony.com/?page=articles/view&AID=2035&cid=2091&aid=73001). I have never said “I love you” within the first three dates (that would scare me, too); or done “manly tricks” on a date, like opening a beer bottle with my teeth (only because I don’t have much talent in the “manly tricks” department); or gone on and on about wanting to get married; or introduced a guy to my kid too soon (since I don’t have a kid); or talked ad nauseum about how wonderful or how terrible an ex was.
Maybe all the cool guys are too busy taking exciting vacations to join eHarmony during the summer – the pickings seem a little slim these days. There are a couple who do seem to have potential, but I had to laugh at this part of one guy’s profile:
One thing he is most thankful for:
My keen intelect
Uh, sir? If you’re really that smart, you may want to learn how to spell “intellect.” Just a tip.
Maybe all the cool guys are too busy taking exciting vacations to join eHarmony during the summer – the pickings seem a little slim these days. There are a couple who do seem to have potential, but I had to laugh at this part of one guy’s profile:
One thing he is most thankful for:
My keen intelect
Uh, sir? If you’re really that smart, you may want to learn how to spell “intellect.” Just a tip.
July 10, 2008
This blog is paying off!
Two exciting bits of information to report. The first is that someone – or, dare I hope, someoneS – has been clicking on my ads regularly, so I’m up to a whopping $24.04. I have now revised my expectation for when I will receive my first $100 check from Google: not in March 2010, but December 2009 -- that’ll be a great Christmas! :) Thanks, clicker(s)!
The second is even more exciting. Remember how in yesterday’s post, I mentioned that back in May I’d tried to register for Cause and Effect Dating (http://www.CauseandEffectNYC.com), a service that matches you up with someone to do volunteer work on a date, but I never heard from them. Well, yesterday I got a very nice comment from Sandra Schwartz, the president of Cause and Effect Dating. Apparently a friend of hers forwarded her my post. Sandra apologized for my never hearing from anyone and explained that due to a recent computer problem, they lost or never received a lot of information. She told me to re-register again and she’ll give me three months free! How cool is that? I shouldn’t be surprised that my lovely loyal readers have friends in high places. You guys rock!
The second is even more exciting. Remember how in yesterday’s post, I mentioned that back in May I’d tried to register for Cause and Effect Dating (http://www.CauseandEffectNYC.com), a service that matches you up with someone to do volunteer work on a date, but I never heard from them. Well, yesterday I got a very nice comment from Sandra Schwartz, the president of Cause and Effect Dating. Apparently a friend of hers forwarded her my post. Sandra apologized for my never hearing from anyone and explained that due to a recent computer problem, they lost or never received a lot of information. She told me to re-register again and she’ll give me three months free! How cool is that? I shouldn’t be surprised that my lovely loyal readers have friends in high places. You guys rock!
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