What are you, my diet coach?

Sweet but Shy (formerly known as Mr. No Touchy-Feely) took me out for my birthday on Friday night -- a month late, but still. He did pick a nice restaurant. I even changed out of my jeans for the occasion.

After we ordered, I asked, "Are you hungry?"

"Now I am," he said, "but I really wasn't all day. I didn't eat lunch."

I was surprised. "So you haven't eaten anything since breakfast?"

"No, since last night."

!!! "If I hadn't had anything since last night, I would be eating my own arm right now," I said.

"Well, I had an iced coffee this morning," he said. "But that happens to me a lot. Sometimes I just don't get hungry all day."

I was having trouble making sense of this. "I have to eat every three hours," I informed him.

He asked me what I'd eaten that day.

"Well, let's see." I thought for a minute. "A bowl of Cheerios and a bowl of Lucky Charms. Later on, a raspberry yogurt. Then an apple, and a banana. And eight or nine of those little Dove chocolates."

His eyes widened in such shock, you would've thought I'd admitted to polishing off four ice cream sundaes. "Eight or nine chocolates!?" he said.

"Yeah, but they're small."

"But that's so much sugar!" he protested.

"Well, it's probably the equivalent of one candy bar."

"But how many calories is that?" he persisted.

Now I was all self-conscious. "Um, well, five of them are 220 calories -- that's one serving -- so eight would be around 350 calories."

"It's just so much sugar!" he said again.

"But I don't drink any soda, diet or regular,"I said. "I don't drink any coffee. I barely drink alcohol. It's my only vice!" I was starting to get annoyed now. I mean, according to the Body Mass Index I'm within a normal weight for my height, I go to the gym regularly, the last time I had blood work done my sugar was fine, my good cholesterol was high and my bad cholesterol was low. I think I can safely eat the equivalent of one chocolate bar without the world coming to an end.

So because I was getting irritated, I really wasn't in the mood to ask him about the status of our relationship. I think I have to come to the conclusion that it's not going anywhere. Especially since this time, all I got was a hug. Not even a kiss on the cheek!

But it was funny, when we went to the movies he bought a popcorn and a soda. We settled into our seats, he took a big drink of the soda, got a weird look on his face and said, "Uh-oh -- they gave me regular instead of diet. That's what I get for giving you such a hard time about the chocolate earlier!"

What can I say? Karma's rough sometimes. ;)