Soul Mates: myth or reality?

When you’re in the initial communication stages with someone on eHarmony, one of the questions they can ask you (or you can ask them) is:

What do you think of “Soul Mates”?
A. there is no such thing
B. each person has one soul mate, whether they find them or not
C. a person has several soul mates in a lifetime
D. through work, any person you truly love can become your soul mate

Whenever someone asks me that question, I’m stumped. I have no idea how to respond. I was reminded of it yesterday while reading a magazine article in which a woman wrote, “That’s where I ended up meeting my soul mate.”

“That’s sweet,” part of me said.

“I’m gagging now,” the other part said.

It’s such a romantic notion to believe there’s one right person for everybody. It’s also kind of depressing. Not to be morbid, but what if your soul mate died as a child? Or what if he or she is alive and healthy but you skipped the one party, missed the one train, didn’t join the one web site that would have led you to meet?

It would explain why so many of us are still single, anyway.

And what about people who were widowed but got re-married, and truly felt both their first AND second husbands or wives were their soul mates -- though perhaps in different ways?

I just typed “soul mates” into Google and learned some interesting soul mate theories. The idea is assumed to have begun thousands of years ago when Plato wrote a story, “The Symposium,” about a race of human beings who were half-male/half-female, until Zeus split them apart. Forever after, they – we -- are consigned to spend an inordinate amount of time searching for our literal other half. Just as I was wondering what that meant for gay people, I found another web site that said Plato actually wrote that some of the beings were half-male/half-female and some were androgynous; therefore, some of us have a soul mate of the opposite gender, some the same.

Some people believe a soul mate is someone you’ve been with in past lives. But I have no idea if past lives are true, either. And others simply think your soul mate is someone you find easy to be with, someone with whom you feel a strong connection.

There’s an article by Gary Thomas titled “Soul Mates or Sole Mates?” on a web site for Christian college students, TrueU.org (link: http://www.trueu.org/dorms/menshall/A000000145.cfm). Interestingly, Thomas believes the concept of a soul mate, one person who completes us, is a myth, and is not Christian or biblical at all. He writes, “In a biblical view, there is not ‘one right choice’ for marriage, but rather good and bad choices. We are encouraged to use wisdom, not destiny, as our guide when choosing a marital partner. There is no indication that God creates ‘one’ person for us to marry. This is because Christians believe that God brings the primary meaning into our lives. Marriage — though wonderful — is still secondary….It really doesn't matter whether my spouse is a ‘soul mate,’ as much as it matters that I choose to love her with Christ's love. That means a sacrificial mindset marked by generosity, kindness, and mercy.”

When my sister (who has found her sou lmate, by the way) and I talked about it last week, she said she thought there are a range of potential soul mates for each person. After all, she said, “considering all the people in the world, and all the people that you meet, how can there be only one?”

I hope that’s true. Because even if I have a whole LEAGUE of soul mates out there, it’s been hard enough to find just one of them!