Relationship Obituaries

On Valentine’s Day, I read a story in amNY (http://www.amny.com/news/local/ny-bc-ny--relationshipobits0213feb13,0,714272.story) about a new web site called Relationship Obituary (http://www.relationshipobit.com) where people write and submit “obituaries” for their past relationships. Kathleen Horan started the site soon after she and her boyfriend broke up. Sadly, her father died two weeks later, and she found writing his obituary so healing, she thought composing an obituary for her broken relationship might be healing, as well.

Some of the obituaries are boring and badly written (“he was jealous and hostel”). But the best ones stick to the true obituary or eulogy format, specifically listing things the boyfriend or girlfriend would be remembered for, what they would be missed for, and, probably more importantly, what they *wouldn’t* be missed for. Some of them are really sad (“the cause of death was an aortic aneurysm of the relationship, which was aggravated by a yearlong deployment in Iraq”).

I didn’t watch any of the video entries, but amNY talks about one where the woman says she broke up with her boyfriend after she caught him cheating in a Monopoly game with a "whole bunch of $500 bills under him." She said, “My philosophy is, if you're going to cheat in Monopoly so blatantly, what hope do we have really?" Hee hee. ;)

Maybe I should write an obituary for Almost Perfect’s and my relationship (see my January 30th post). We met the day after Valentine’s Day last year, so that could be why I’ve been thinking about him a lot over the past week. When I went to a talk the other night, I could’ve sworn I saw him a few rows ahead of me and I just about froze in my seat. But then the guy turned and I realized it wasn’t him. I know it’s ridiculous. I shouldn’t even remember his name anymore -- we only dated for two months! It was such an intense two months, though. I just know I’m going to run into him in Brooklyn in a couple of years, with his new girlfriend or wife and their baby by his side. I can see the scene so clearly, I almost feel like it’s already happened.

At least I learned one lesson: never let anyone break up with you over e-mail if you can help it. A last talk, some closure, a cup of hot chocolate to drown my sorrows might have made it a little easier.

Or maybe not. Who knows?