What was the very first instance of on-line dating on television? I believe it occurred on that beloved kids’ sit-com from the 1980s, the one starring Rick Schroder back when he was still Ricky – yes, “Silver Spoons.” I thought I recalled an episode where the teenage Ricky talks to a girl on his computer, then meets her in real life, but I wasn’t sure if I was mis-remembering. Could you really meet people through the computer in the ‘80s?
Yes, you could! I found the episode on YouTube (where else?) at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWn5cMaVqtU Back in 1985, when it originally aired, a few people apparently had the means and the know-how to connect to a local BBS with a dial-up modem, and at the start of this episode, Ricky and his friend Alfonso are doing just that. You can even see that old-fashioned monochrome green screen that those of us born in the 1970s grew up with. Ah, memories. Ricky explains to Alfonso that he has been “grocking” with a girl through the computer. The term “grocking” seems to have died out, thankfully (it sounds like the sound you make when you throw up), but it was the equivalent of “chatting” or instant-messaging today, though without any cool graphics or anything other than that green type. The girl’s “handle” is “Lady Godiva,” Ricky says. “Mine is ‘the Ricker.’”
Soon the Ricker’s dad and stepmom come into the room, making a weird joke about Stalin (?). When they find out about Lady Godiva, they actually encourage Rick to ask her out! Those days before “To Catch a Predator” were so innocent, weren’t they? Rick says he’s too nervous to ask her out. Why ruin a beautiful computer-based relationship by actually interacting in person? Believe me, with some of these on-line guys I’ve asked myself the very same question.
But then Alfonso gets to the heart of the matter. In those days before scanners and digital cameras, Ricky has no idea what “Lady Godiva” looks like. Alfonso asks, “She could be –“ and proceeds to howl in that truly obnoxious way that only teenage boys can. Yes. What if Lady Godiva is – gasp! – UGLY? The only fate worse than death than being an ugly girl is being seen with one, apparently. Kate, Ricky’s stepmother, gives them a lecture on how looks aren’t everything, but Ricky’s dad understands that’s all 14-year-old boys care about. Way to teach your son progressive ideas about women, Dad!
Despite the possibility of Lady Govida’s hideousness, Ricky goes ahead and types a sentence asking her out. Lady Godiva replies instantly with a big “YES!” The date is on.
Ingeniously, those crazy kids decide to mail each other photos so they can recognize each other at the diner that Saturday. When Ricky gets Lady Godiva’s photo, he is stunned – she’s beautiful. Great! So what’s the problem? Well, suddenly the Ricker realizes he may not be good enough for HER. When he goes to sleep that night, he has a bad dream that he goes to meet Wanda (Lady Godiva’s real name), but his ears are huge, he has a zit the size of a pie on his forehead, and he's dressed hideously, so of course Wanda is all mean to him. Their waitress even asks, "Isn't she too pretty to be with you?" When they try to dance, the cool older guy from the football team comes by and steals Wanda away, ridiculing Ricky the whole time – but he’s played by the same actor who plays Ricky’s dad! They probably wanted to save money by not paying another guest star, but I thought that was creepy.
After his nightmare, Ricky decides not to meet Wanda, but his parents talk him into it AGAIN! They are obsessed with him meeting this stranger from the computer! It really was a different era.
The next scene shows Wanda waiting in the diner for Ricky. She looks just like her photo. But then she has a bad daydream in which she has frizzy hair, a big nose, and an annoying voice. Oh, and she’s obese. So obese that when Rick grudgingly agrees to dance with her, other boys have to help wrench her out of the booth. It’s awful. Meanwhile, of course, all the pretty girls are swooning around Ricky.
Wanda snaps out of this nightmare-daydream and starts to flee – just as Ricky walks in. They’re awkward together at first. But then they start talking; they dance (even back in the ‘80’s, did people ever dance in diners?); and their chemistry is palpable. As they dance, they get physically closer in one minute than I've gotten to 90% of my dates!
The moral of the story seems to be that you can indeed find true love through your computer – as long as you’re beautiful or handsome. But if you’re an ugly or obese girl, or a nerdy, large-eared guy, you lose. No one will want to be seen with you. It’s really offensive, actually.
Of course, the series continues on for a few more years, and we never see Wanda again. That’s probably the truest part of the whole episode, come to think of it – one great date with someone you met on-line, and then you never hear from them again. It happens so often.
I read the comments on YouTube, and someone wrote that he or she recalled an episode of “Three’s Company” where Jack did computer dating – in 1982! Does anyone remember that, or any other early TV shows that feature computer dating? I’ll have to do some more research.
In the meantime, I leave you with this classic quote:
"Anywhere I hang my headband is home." - The Ricker
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