Funnies from eHarmony

For a while I’d gotten behind on the half-dozen or so matches a day that eHarmony has been e-mailing me, but I finally went through them all. Some guys put the weirdest, funniest information in their profiles. Under “some other additional information he wants you to know,” one guy wrote, “I have three days unconsummated marriage which ended up in divorce.” A little Too Much Information there. Another guy put that he is actually very sensitive in spite of his “obvious aggressive” traits. Next! Under “one thing only his best friends know is,” one guy wrote: “My lack of experience with the opposite sex.” Well, now all your potential matches know it, too! Somebody else listed “Hygene [sic] products such as deorderant [sic] and toothpaste” under the things he can’t live without -- I guess that was supposed to be reassuring.

The misspellings really kill me: one talks about a childhood friend who lived “next store” to him; another admitted to his “quiteness” (quietness). One guy, for whom English is obviously a second language, said he “likes to camp and makes histories under the night.” I’m not sure what that means, but I thought it was pretty poetic.

And finally, under the things he is most thankful for, someone named Pablo listed the following:
▪ Sex
▪ Sex
▪ Sex

I suppose he thought he’d get points for honesty??