About Me

October 24, 2008

Weird

I've received two strange e-mails from two of the eHarmony guys I'm in open communication with. Nothing scary or anything, just...odd. One of them had asked me why I became Catholic this year. I told him about why the religion appealed to me, and this is what he wrote back:

>You admire the Catholic emphasis on social justice? What does that entail? The wearing of the scarlet letter? I don't think the people in the book were Catholic. I can't remember. Protestant?

Um...huh?? Why does he seem to think Catholics want poor people to wear a scarlet letter? Or does he think Catholics wear one? The characters in "Scarlet Letter" were Puritans, and Hester Prynne wore the scarlet letter because she was convicted of adultery, so I don't see the connection at all. Such a weird response.

Meanwhile, in only his second e-mail to me ever, another eHarmony guy wrote that he would like to give me a better sense of what he's looking for. He then proceeded to go on and on about how he thinks there's a woman out there "with whom I can have a very special and long-lasting emotional and physical intimacy." He said he likes to be physically demonstrative in public ("within reason of course"). He wrote, "I love to see a woman's eyes sparkle and know that she is the way she is because no other man can make her feel special the way I do. Through good two-way communication, I seek over time to touch a deep place in her mind and heart, a place close to the very essence who she is as a complete woman. At the same time, we would mutually respect each other and work as a team to be the best people that we can be, both as individuals and as a couple. As idealistic that sounds, I believe those are the ingredients to maintain a long-lasting connection and relationship."

Which sounds great and all, but it's only his second e-mail to me -- talk about pressure! If he goes into every first date expecting that kind of connection, no wonder he's still single. Then he asked me to tell him about an issue I feel passionately about; if I could make men understand one thing, what would it be?; and "what compliment have you gotten in your life that has made you feel as though you were the most beautiful and sensual woman ever - i.e. without it being some lame cheesy pickup line?"

He did this to me in his first e-mail, too, asking me to describe a dream trip I'd like to take with "that special man in your life -- what would it be like?" and "What do you suppose is the difference between the kind of man you’re attracted to on the outside and the kind of guy who would truly fulfill you on the inside?" I keep thinking, can't we just get to know each other through natural conversation instead of all these deep philosophical questions? One or two are fine, but it's only his second e-mail to me and he's already making my head hurt.

Last night I was supposed to have my first date with the IT guy I've been communicating with, but he had to cancel due to an eye infection (ew). We talked on the phone tonight, though, and he actually sounds normal. We started talking about the presidential election, and he said, "I think it's going to be really close." I said, "I know, I'm so nervous!" Then I suddenly got even MORE nervous because I thought, oh, crap, who is he voting for?? If he says McCain, my heart will sink! (Despite living in one of the most liberal cities in the country, the Republicans -- all 12 of them -- always seem to find me.) Fortunately, he started talking about a friend of his who is canvassing for Obama in Florida next week. What a relief! Hopefully he'll be feeling better next week and we can meet in person.

6 comments:

mb said...

Sorry about those two odd emails :( IT guy sounds very cool, however--keep us posted!

Anonymous said...

Those e-mails are odd. My first impression is: "Trying too hard!"

Anonymous said...

Why did I think that eHarmony would be able to weed out the weirdos? That has not been the case for me. I hope your eGuys start acting normal.

Waitress from Mensa said...

A six-month eHarmony tour of duty during my late 40s yielded the same mixed bag of matches as any other service, although possibly overall a more refined population. One man, a cardiologist, e-mailed and called me quite often for a few weeks, then abruptly ended all communication when he learned I had never seen Phantom of the Opera. No accumulations of other musicals woud compensate for that lack.

Then there were strean of strange ones with the fringe fetishes. And those who cannot compose a comprehensible e-mail. And those who insist on supermodel-esque proportions. Many think punctuation is freeform expression.(I am an editor, and I try to overlook. I cannot fix a car, which I think is a more important skill than knowing when a semicolon is appropriate.)
After many disappointments, I decided to pursue romance the old-fashioned way.

Lord Lillis said...

Actually, there are only 11 Republicans (I was from Connecticut). That excludes Staten Island. And you shouldn't exclude men on that basis. After all, my wife married one....

Could one or both of these late eHarmony posters be plants or paid by the service. I know that back in the day (2 years ago) Match was discovered doing something similar: employees of the service would send messages to people whose accounts were about to expire.

Her Artichoke Heart said...

Believe me, I've struggled with the no-Republican rule -- I hate to rule an entire group of people out on ANY basis. But it just has never worked out between me and a Republican, and at this point I don't think it ever will. Congratulations on your marriage, by the way. :)

Waitress from Mensa, that is SO BIZARRE that guy ruled you out just because you hadn't seen "Phantom"! How weird. But if he was that strange I'm sure you weren't missing much!